LETTER

Open Letter to the Prime Minister 

It was only two years ago that the New Aylmer Cow Watchers’ Society elected nominees to the Senate of Canada and you were seen as the only leader to guide our economy. It seems neither of us has fulfilled our dreams. Instead of the economy you are going to run the next election on protecting the Canadian people against whatever you say threatens us. While the opposition screams about protecting our rights, against you protecting our persons, you get to paint them as weak and muddle-headed. Strangely, we at the Society might be able to piggy back on your strategy.

 

The Society believes that it is crucial to have a Cow Watcher in Parliament. Since it appears you are reluctant to appoint one to the Senate, we have decided to offer a candidate to the House in the upcoming federal election. The Society will run a candidate in the riding of Hull-Aylmer. We will be using our annual general meeting as a nomination meeting, at that august establishment, LaBrass Aylmer, April 1. At the nomination meeting we will announce our platform.

 

We apologize in advance to other candidates in the riding for this inconvenience. We suspect they feel the same about the need to have a Cow Watcher in Parliament, so their first reaction would be to drop out of the race. The Society begs them to reconsider as it would look bad for democracy if the Cow Watcher candidate were to be acclaimed.

 

Not to give our platform away, but I want to tell you about our plan for Enlightenment Farms. This concept came about when considering your new terror legislation. Our riding has vast rural areas where we can establish farms that will house all of those arrested through your thought legislation. You can keep all of the hard-core Jihadists in jail. You can send the activists, journalists, and the like who get caught up in your scheme to an Enlightenment Farm. There we expose them to the ancient art of Cow Watching. The farms will produce employment in rural areas; residents can grow their own food and sell the excess. They may never wish to leave.

 

Michael P. MacDonald

Secretary, New Aylmer Cow Watchers’ Society

Aylmer