LETTER

Late April Fools: Bring back public executions to Aylmer!

 

Why do so many people view the legalization of weed as a once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity, yet overlook the opportunities offered by changes in the law on assisted suicide?  With Super C moving, why not turn the vacant premises into an Assisted Suicide Centre? There is big money in providing personalised services to those wishing to end their lives?  

For instance, they could:
- Train a dozen doctors in firearms and have them dress up in Mexican bandidos to offer a real live firing squad, complete with that last cigarette, like the ones that gave them the cancer in the first place;  
- Hold public hangings of the terminally ill, done by qualified doctors;
- Provide a room where the terminally ill could play Russian roulette, allowing locals to gamble;
- A bomb-proof room done up like a Belfast pub where those wishing to die could play "Pass the parcel" with a ticking package giving them the chance to go "out with a bang";
- An alleyway where two terminally ill people could enjoy a Western gunfight.

By selling tickets for people to watch behind bullet-proof glass, not only would such a centre provide a profit, but those wishing to die would be able to finance their own funerals. And all this, without even mentioning the massive tax revenue that could go a long way to covering the cost of supporting the old and infirm.

With the Liberals' enabling of assisted suicide providing so many business opportunities, I wonder which businessmen will seize upon this "golden opportunity" first?

Robert L Thompsett
Aylmer